Creating a play zone for your baby

This is how I created a play area for my little one. My parents had gifted loads of furniture for my little one even before she was born (my baby being the first in her generation, at least on my family's side!). Among the lot, was a co-sleeper with a bassinet. Although the bassinet (has wheels and a mosquito net) is perfect for when I have to take the baby with me to other rooms while she is sleeping, the co-sleeper is still too big for her as of now.
So I made a play zone out of it. This below is the cot/ co-sleeper.
It is high enough that I don't have to bend too much while picking her up (my father worries about my back and the height of this cot was the main feature that made him think of getting it!), and is at level with most beds (for when I use it as a co-sleeper later). It has a beautiful mosquito net, making it look fit for a princess (which my darling baby is!)

The sides and the boundaries have nets, so she is visible to me even if the side panel is closed. This panel can fall open as shown. The locking mechanism is very good and even an adult would have a tough time closing and opening it- so, safe for kids even if they push it while inside. But you can also just close it without locking it- which I do for now, when my little one isn't able to push it. I have also rolled the excess mosquito net and clipped it to the bows on either side.

Next, I have placed a large baby mattress that has detachable side bolsters, tied in place with strings attached to the mattress. This mattress can also be place on the floor or on a bed. 

Next I placed upon the mattress a play mat (Fischer Price play and learn gifted by my first best friend ever). This play mat has 4 holders at each corner. 2 can be occupied by a giraffe and a tree with monkey soft toy, while the other 2 hold an arch with hanging toys- a penguin, a crocodile and a dog. These are interchangeable and washable. 

Next for some moving toys and music! I hung from the mosquito net holder, a MeeMee musical cot toy- it plays a soft slow music upon winding the spring. It has 5 rattle toys attached to the strings-a ball, a lion, a giraffe, an elephant and a monkey- taking together all the animals in this set up, I cook up stories for my baby.

There is a dented pillow my saasuma made for my baby and on the other end is a little blanket- for when she falls asleep while playing in the cot.

And here's a picture of my baby laying in the cot!

This lets me stay free to work and lets her get some alone play time. Of course I keep the cot next to me, attached to my bed. She plays with the hanging arch toys and tries to reach for the other hanging toys (the MeeMee cot toy can be lowered to the desired level, keeping in my mind that the toys should not hit the baby in any way).

This same set up can be made on a flat mattress or even on the ground. In your office or on the bed. I live in a village in a large rented bungalow, and that is why I can keep a bassinet, a rocker, a co-sleeper, and a traditional Indian cradle (ghodiyo) in the house. I would not recommend purchasing all of this for those of you who feel you may not have enough space.

All of these items- the furniture, are used only up to a few years, beyond which it will become storage in your house. So do not invest too much in these. However, if you wish to keep it for later use (another baby, sibling's babies, your baby's baby etc.) you can dismantle most of these products easily and can store and transport these in their respective boxes. Do not discard the cartons in which these items are delivered to you without a second thought. You can reuse them later, if you wish.

Another point- we went looking for some toys with light and music- preferably something like a MeeMee cradle cot toy but with light and music, as our baby is now attracted to multi-colored lights. However, most of the toys we found had crude or scratchy music- not so pleasing to the ears when you're used to the excellent audio quality of classical music lullaby that we play on a JBL clip speaker. And the lights were such that it would hit my little one's eyes directly. So we ended up buying a disco light bulb. Which plunges the whole room into lots of different shapes of colored patterns and can even stop her from crying! And as for music- we play it from lullaby apps online.

I do not wish to accumulate toys, despite the great collection you get in toy shops (it's a whole new world there). Because, one day they will end up in a huge nostalgic pile. My suggestion would be to buy few but quality, age appropriate toys-  little research about the type of toys in accordance with the developmental stage of your child will help.

Here are some examples:

• In the first 2 months: Rattles, which are easy to hold for you, and have a sound that wouldn't irritate your ears or the baby's ears
• Up to 4 months: Colored toys with faces and which rattle upon kicking or shaking, from here on you need to see to it that there are no small parts and no small object- pen caps, coins, buttons anything that can go into the baby's mouth, is placed near the baby. Because from here, your baby is going to try and pick up anything and everything he/she possibly can and taste it. Although most babies do not hold things as early as this, but you never know. With great difficulty said toy will be held between two hands and immediately be brought to the mouth. So yeah, keep that in mind!
• Beyond 4 months: 
• Squeaky balls- these are so soft and squeaky that even a light bump with it will produce a squeak. 
• Also, teethers and toys that can be sterilized or washed easily- because without a doubt your baby will be tasting toys by now!

Bathing your baby

In India, a new mother and her baby are given massages by an elderly dai for the first 45 days, excluding the first 10-15 days. It is said to have various benefits. But, some do not recommend getting such massages done due to the force used by these dais while massaging the mother's abdomen or the baby, whose joints could get affected.

I was apprehensive about the dai that my mother had arranged for me, and I had agreed only because said dai was a newly retired nurse who had been offering similar services to the bed- ridden stroke patients and new mums around the area.

Once I met her, however, I decided to give it a try. She was firm but gentle with my baby and me. I guess, for me it was more about pampering myself. For my baby, it was a different matter- she was so good with the little baby, I doubt I would have handled the baby as well as she did in those first few weeks. We got the massages only for 2 weeks, as I had to return to my marital home after that.

But I learnt from her, the art of massaging and bathing a baby. And of course, reading up from The Baby Book (by the Sears doctors) as well as counting upon my own experiences while massaging and bathing my own baby, I will describe how I massage and bath my baby.

So, once I was settled into my home in Gujarat, I decided to take care of bath time with my baby by myself. It is great for mother baby bonding time, and it gave me confidence too- as a mum.

Initially I had to see to it that there was someone in the house in that duration, so I could call for help if needed. I didn't though. I could manage on my own. Other than asking for a towel or to ask someone to switch off the geyser etc. Which if you plan properly can be done by you.

Today I bath my baby anytime I want, without needing anyone else. But I still see to it that the maid is around or my neighbour is in her house. Just in case.

Remember to watch out for new rashes or spots or anything new on your baby's skin, any lumps on your baby's scalp or body.

So here's how I go about bath time!

• You'll need
• Lukewarm water- 1 bucket
• A mug
• 2 fluffy towels (I alternate between the towels) to lay on the floor or in the tub/sink
• 1 plastic mat
• Baby massage oil
• Baby shampoo
• Baby -top to toe wash/ baby body wash/ baby soap
• 1 large baby towel, 1 small hand towel
• Changing area to dress your child - diaper and all
• A change of clothes
• Remember:
• See to it that the baby has been fed before a bath, but not immediately before- I leave a gap of around 20 mins between a feed and the bath
• It would be preferable to have someone to call if you need help
• Be careful when you stand up with the baby to step into or out of the bathroom
• Location:
• Bathroom floor
• Area beside the kitchen sink
• Inside the kitchen/ wash area sink - if the sink is large and stable enough, place the fluffy towel in the sink, so that there is no slipping and no injury if baby accidentally hits her head or a joint on the sink
• In a bath tub

I usually give my baby a bath in the bathroom- on the floor. This can be done anywhere- even in an open space or a sunny open area

• Steps:

MASSAGE:

• Lay a folded fluffy towel on the floor
• Place the plastic mat in the middle of the towel
• Switch on the geyser (to prepare a bucket of hot water for the bath, meanwhile you can massage the baby)
• Lay the baby down gently on her back (remove and toss the cloth and soiled diaper outside- you don't want to create a mess with the cloth becoming wet once you wash the baby)
• Rub your hands together and warm them, take a small amount of baby massage oil and start massaging- I begin with her head and apply just a bit on her face followed by generously applying it and massaging her hands and legs. Proceed to the chest and belly. Be careful of the folds on the thighs and the genitals
• Flip the baby carefully (slippery little cuties) on her belly and see to it that her nose is free. Massage the head (be very gentle), then rub the back and bum and the backs of the legs. Massage the shoulders and the neck carefully.
• BE GENTLE. BE AS GENTLE AS POSSIBLE. While massaging as well as while handling the baby

BATH:

• By now, the water is ready. Check the water temperature and see to it that the water is not too hot or too cold.
• Pour some water on the baby and begin the bath
• I use a top to toe wash during the winters as it is faster
• As the baby is on its belly- apply shampoo (if you're using it) on the head first- as the entire head is accessible in the belly up position
• Next apply the body wash over the back, carefully washing behind the ears, the neck folds, the bum and between the toes
• Be very careful as you flip over the baby on its back (extra slippery due to the soap) and support the baby's head and neck with your palm as you flip the baby
• The face does not need soap, although you can wash the face if you so wish
• This is when I make horns with my baby's hair which has shampoo in it!
• Apply the body wash/ soap in the neck folds, under the arms, between the fingers (which are always in my baby's mouth these days), folds under the belly, belly button, genitals, and the thigh folds (which will increase as your baby becomes chubby)
• Special care needs to be taken in case of healing wounds (in circumcised babies or babies that underwent surgery)
• Once you are done with applying the body wash/soap, hold the back of your baby's neck or upper back with one hand, while the baby's bum rests on the mat (to prevent water going into the baby's nose and mouth) and wash off the soap, gently rubbing so that no soap is left. You can pour the water over your hand as you rub the baby instead of directly pouring it over the baby
• Wash the face by taking water in your cupped hand- as one would wash their own face
• Flip the baby over once again and wash off the back of the head, the back, the bum and the backs of the legs
• Wash off any remaining soap
• My baby makes a very funny face if I pour water over her face- watery eyes, tongue sticking out. Pretty sure she doesn't like it though!
• Place the baby towel in your lap and then lay the baby on its back, upon the towel. Using the same towel and a smaller spare one dry the hair and face first, then dry the rest of the baby, again keeping in mind the folds
• Bring the baby to a dry area where fresh clothes and a diaper change is ready
• Put on the diaper first (if you are using one at the time) followed by the clothes. Technically babies do not need talcum powder. I apply baby cream/ moisturizer during the winter- a bonus massage!

 I bath my baby once in 2 days (and every time she poops- which she does once in 5-8 days for now). The days she doesn't get a bath, my baby gets a nice warm sponging:)

I hope you look forward to bath time with your baby!

Why did the baby cry?

Babies cry for a variety of reasons. And you must always be diligent about the reason why babies cry. Although on a regular basis, crying babies can be managed easily. (Yeah yeah, easier said than done.)

I have found that my baby cries for some very specific reasons:

• She is sleepy - so i rock her and put her to sleep, or in the cradle
• She is hungry - obviously I feed her then (Feeding calms down my baby in almost any instance- except colic- then she is bound to throw up, or if she is not hungry and I still try to feed her, she cries even more)
• Do not be scared of a child's throw up. It is quite natural and common. But do read up or research it if you need to hone your gut instincts- after all, your gut instincts need to depend on some basic knowledge!
• There's something blocking her nose (lovingly called googa in my Gujarati sasural and shenda in my peehar!) or the dryness is causing her difficulty in breathing- we use a small humidifier for a few minutes to take care of such a scenario. Or if there's dried mucus, you need to get it out.
• Nappy is wet or diaper is heavily soiled- change it! I have learnt to smell it out- gross as it sounds- it is very useful in case i cannot afford to lay her down and check the diaper from the side!
• She has colic- will feel better if you try burping her or cycling her legs, and if it doesn't resolve, she will need colicaid or some other medicine
• She simply wants to be held- so i hold my little baby and rock her till she is calm and her breathing settles down.

These are common manageable reasons for a baby crying. And i have found these in my baby , she is 4 months now. It helped me manage better knowing what the issue could be.

But be warned babies cry for a lot of reasons, including sickness.

Here are some things to remember when your baby cries:

• STAY RATIONAL. STAY CALM. I cannot emphasise how much this has helped me. Staying calm helps me think about what could be causing my child grief and also helps me screen through the instant, worried, and sometimes  voices coming towards me.
• Do not get angry on yourself or your partner
• Do not get angry if the baby cries because of a minor accidental event- it could have been done by you too. Explain this to your family too, accidental reasons for crying will happen- despite all you care. So don't go about blaming yourself or anyone else.
• It is normal for a baby to cry. It is literally their only way of communicating.
•  It is not anybody's fault that a baby cries. No one is making the baby cry.
• Have faith in yourself. You are the mother/ father of the child. You can do this.

The Hospital Stay for Delivery

The apprehension and excitement aside, you have to prepare for the delivery. Literally. The mental prep differs from patient to patient. I was quite anxious, despite calming speeches by everyone in my family, despite my husband being a gynecologist, despite being a doctor myself and having assisted deliveries and C sections before. Nothing, and I shit you not, nothing will prepare you for the arrival of your baby. Perhaps I was one of the lucky ones, fully awake during the C section and there being absolutely no pain. [The next few days were achy and stuff, but you forget that in the excitement of the baby, your family's happiness, the joyful whatsapp updates you get to send among other things! I was just dying to get my hands on my phone and share photos of my baby with my inner circle of friends!]

Because I used to keep jumping out of anxiety (I would literally hop from one foot to the other) in my doctor's OPD, she kindly gave me another new mum's number. And this other patient (we're friends now!) took care of quite a bit of my anxiety. Her numero uno advice to me was to 100% trust my doctor. And I did. She also shared a list of things I would need for my hospital stay- since we were both going to deliver in the same hospital under the same doctor.

Somethings to prepare you for your hospital stay during delivery-

I got this organizer online and its super handy to carry to work as well!

• Your bag should contain:
• 1 dress set : something loose fitting and comfortable to wear when you are discharged and get to go home (yay)
• 4 Maternity underwear: These are super comfy panties- huge and soft (I have no idea how people go back to wearing normal panties after wearing these!)
• Bathroom kit: you'll probably be asked to take a bath a couple of hours before the surgery- although you've to wear hospital clothes till you're in the hospital
• Face wash
• Soap/ Body wash
• Shampoo
• Hair band/ clutch clip- whatever you use
• Comb (for the last photo with the pregnancy glow before you deliver)
• Maternity pads
• For the first few days, at least till you're in the hospital, they will probably use hospital grade maternity pads
• And instead of buying maternity pads you can use xxl or the large sized sanitary pads once you get home
• Face napkins/ bath towel
• Nipple shields: again these you can buy if you're having difficulty feeding your baby and only after the advice of your nurse or doctor. A kind nurse at the hospital took pity on my crying baby and a frustrated me and advised nipple shields to aid the feeding process
• Breast pump: if needed
• 2 Shawls: keep spares because:
• You're going to have leakage and dark colored printed shawls help in preventing this embarrassment (there is nothing to be ashamed of, its natural, but in the beginning you may feel embarrassed when the front of your dress starts showing wet patches. It happens to everyone, and in case it does happen, take it in stride and laugh it off! Later however, you can use nursing bras and breast pads) 
• You need spare ones if the one you're using has become wet because of leakage or because the new born decided to throw up on it
• Your baby's bag should have:
• 2 Baby blankets
• 2 sets of clothes (nothing is going to fit the baby, it is going to be loose but nevertheless
  , the baby must be kept cosy, comfortable and warm)
• preferably a button full sleeved shirt and pants
• 2 sets of cap, mittens and socks combo
• 2 muslin clothes or soft clothes to wrap the baby in
• Baby pillow (the dented ones)
• Diapers/ wipes (depending on whether it is provided by the hospital or not)
• Papa's bag should contain:
• 2 changes of clothes
• For the overnight stay and if the baby throws up on you (just in case- reading this you might think babies throw up all the time!)
• 1 towel
• 1 grooming kit (shaving kit/ comb/ hair oil/gel etc.)
• Phone charger (The visitors or family might need it, and you most certainly will to keep informing people)
• Power bank
• Other important stuff
• Hospital files 
• Hospital card (if any)
• Documents needed for financial dealings at the hospital
• Many hospitals arrange for the birth certificate of the child. So it might be best to choose a name and supply it when asked so the hospital can arrange fo the birth certificate instead of you having to run around for it- especially with all the excitement and chaos that will surely ensue once you return home

Don't dread your hospital stay. Think of the whole thing as an adventure. And try and enjoy it as much as possible!

May you have a comfortable and safe hospital stay!